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There’s a children’s song that goes like this:

Row, row, row your boat

Gently down the stream

Merrily merrily, merrily, merrily

Life is but a dream 🎶

I first heard it in a video that went viral because the guy who posted it was making a very important point.

This isn’t just another kindergarten song, there’s a deeper message in it about relationships.

The song says: Row your boat. Not row anybody else’s boat. 🚣‍♀️

This landed deeply for me. I could relate to it because I had fallen into this behavior with the people around me so many times.

Here’s the thing, you can’t force anyone to change, or bring transformation into their lives if they are not ready.

🚣‍♀️ I learned that when I try to make someone understand me, I’m trying to row their boat.

🚣‍♀️ When I want someone to change their ways to meet my expectations, I’m trying to row their boat.

🚣‍♀️ When I push someone to grow, even if I believe it’s for their best, I’m not letting them row their boat and therefore I’m disrespecting them.

It’s like trying to teach someone how to surf by riding the waves for them. They’ll never get to stand on the board!

The moment I started saying to myself ‘I’ll let them row their own boat and I’ll row only mine’ everything started shifting in my relationships.

You are who you are because you have chosen to say yes to your own transformation, but if someone is not exactly where you are in the journey, you can't push them.

Allowing them to row their own boat, even if in your own judgment you think they are hurting themselves or doing it wrong, is a way of showing respect and loving them.

The only way you can be of service to the people you love is by rowing your boat, row it so well that you inspire them to do the same. ❤️

It’s through inspiration, not obligation, that we can help one another.

And what better time to start being more mindful about our relationships than this holiday season, when hopefully, we will be sharing with our loved ones.

With love,

Paola ❤️